(If you don't have time for my nonsense and just want to buy the book, push the button.)

You can get it on the Audible app, from your local bookstore, or online...

When you get to work, you can act totally normal. Then, at 11AM, you can ask to go to the toilet. Everyone will look at you strangely, because you don't really need to ask that in most workplaces. You'll put them at ease by doing something totally non-suspicious, like whistling.

Once you get to the bathroom, you'll download the audiobook to your phone, using the company wi-fi! Just like in The Thomas Crown Affair. Once the marvellous voices of Jessica Bell, Fayssal Bazzi, Rohan Nichol, Annie Maynard, Nathalie Morris, Shaun Martindale and Fraser Morrison are safely loaded onto your device, you can noisily wash your hands and return to your desk, still whistling.

Then, in your lunch break (do people still get lunch breaks in 2025? I've been out of the traditional work force for a while) you can announce that you're going out to buy some food, because you "forgot" to pack any today. Once again, you might get some strange looks, but you can put everyone at ease by pretending to take a phone call as you walk out. "Yes, I am interested in saving the koalas! Tell me more..."

You're not supposed to eat on a bus or in a taxi, but that's what the vacuum flask is for. No-one will ever know. Slurp noisily, occasionally muttering, "Mm, that is good water." When you reach the nearest bookstore--and it pains me to say this--you won't have time to browse. I recommend shouting, "I need a copy of Kill Your Boss!" as soon as you walk in. (As a former bookseller, I can tell you that this behaviour isn't as suspicious as it might sound.) Pretty soon you'll be walking out again with two copies, just in case you want to read in stereo.

Once you're back at the office, make sure you keep the books hidden in your bag. Try to resist the urge to look at the clock as it counts down to 5PM, when you can finally read the book. When your boss calls you into his office at 4:58, don't panic. It's probably nothing. He can't possibly know--can he? 

When you enter his office, he'll be friendly. That's the first warning sign. He's never friendly. You're on edge, but you keep a smile plastered across your face, trying to ignore the cold sweat trickling down from your armpits.

He twists his monitor around so you can see--and your stomach drops. There you are, yelling in the bookstore. The photograph has been posted to social media, with the caption #jackheathfansbelike. You're caught.

Or are you?

"Have you told anyone else about this?" you ask casually, reaching into your handbag for the hammer...

...or, instead of all that, you could just push the button. I guess. If you hate fun.